Friday, June 20, 2014


I knew it!  I should be napping!

I hope my husband is reading this because he is one of those extremely annoying people who goes all day without even the tiniest flutter of his eyelids.  He just goes and goes and goes.  Wide awake all the live-long day.  Sheesh. 

And you know what he told me?  If he feels tired during the day?  He just sits down at his desk and keeps on working.

Well.  Yeah.  He is employed.  That could be a factor in his persistent awareness.

To be fair, if I think back to my days as a high school principal, I don’t recall getting sleep breaks.  I have to grant him that.  No sleeping on the job! 

Poor guy.  All that enforced alertness.  It must be a real drag.

His company is so 20th Century on this issue – According the National Sleep Foundation, about 34% of U.S. employers now allow napping at work!  Where were they when I needed them?   

And 16% have even designated napping areas!  For example Nike employees can sleep in “quiet rooms.”  It sounds so civilized, doesn’t it?  Not at all like public school where it’s loud all day every day. 

Google’s Mountain View campus includes ‘sleeping pods.’  Absolutely kindergarten-esque! 

Both Continental and British Airways allow pilots to nap during long international flights.  OK.  I get the point.  Just don’t tell me Sully’s sawing logs during in-flight turbulence!

These nap-friendly companies report that permitting rest breaks during the work day boosts revenue, productivity and employee satisfaction.  I’m just sayin’.

So I don’t see how my husband’s compulsory wakefulness justifies the routine ribbing I endure if he should discover that I’ve had a dose of shuteye during the day. 

Therefore, I don’t always include my siesta in my response to “How was your day today?”

Good, Honey.  My day was good.  Due, not in small measure, to my little kip.  Surmise all you want.  I’ve straightened the bedspread and re-plumped the pillows.  Covered my napping tracks, if you will.  My eyes are bright and my lips are sealed.

Really.  If I’ve been at the computer all morning, seeking depth of knowledge and insights to share with you, Dear Reader; and I’ve had my noontime snack; if at that moment, after folding a load of fluffy warm clothes at bedside I begin to circle that self-same bed and find myself wobbling in orbit…well!  What’s a person supposed to do?  Dust?

And besides, it’s confirmed now:  Sleeplessness can kill you! 

That’s right.  In a study called “Sleep or Die,” reports that poor sleep habits can lead to as much as a 12% higher risk of death!

Not sure exactly how that factoid is supposed to help me sleep.  It actually kind of keeps me awake – worrying about dying in my sleep or waking up too early only to die from consciousness.

It’s a conundrum. 

Studies have also shown that insomniacs are 10-times more likely to develop depression and 17-times more likely than their counterparts to have significant anxiety.

So there.

I am neither anxious nor depressed.  I am relaxed and happy, happy, happy!  I sleep the sleep of those unencumbered by guilt, except of course, for the small shame of deceiving my husband regarding my habits of slumber. 

But what’s the definition of a white lie?  It’s an unimportant lie, especially one told to be tactful or polite.  See?  I’m being courteous.  That’s all.  I’m protecting his sensibilities. 

There’s no harm in a tiny prevarication told in the interest of face-saving and spousal bliss. 

Not that he begrudges me my catnaps.  It’s just poor form to rub it in:  “Oh?  And while you were dealing with a terrible human being who holds sway in your work environment, I was snoozing and smiling in my slumber.”  Not nice.

And I am a nice person.  Probably because I am a napper. found that forty winks can elevate a cranky person’s mood and alertness and improve the quality of her interactions.  Translated:  We nappers don’t respond crabbily to those who snicker when they learn we’ve had a lie-down in the daylight.

So get off my back about it, OK? 

Oh!  Sorry to be so snippy.  Must be time for my nap.