Saturday, April 18, 2020

I Grew Up to be a Walmart Greeter







I didn’t worry about what I would do in retirement.  I always knew I could be a Walmart greeter.

But my husband fretted about me as the date drew near.  He feared that after I left my prominent, powerful position; when the bright lights dimmed and the glory faded, that I might retreat to what he called “dark times.”

Dark times would be characterized by fuzzy slippers and fuzzy teeth, devotion to daytime TV,  bouts of nostalgia, and yearning for the good ol’ days of chaperoning dances and monitoring the cleavage of teenaged girls determined to show it. 

Did I mention I was a high school principal?  Oh yeah.  Good times.

Actually, I loved my job, the students especially, and the work in general.  But after 30 years, I was not sad to leave it behind.

Still, along with my husband, I did begin to wonder how I might spend my days when they were wide open, up to me, and demand-less.

Then I saw a piece on the news about a man in Berkeley who was retiring from a position he had created for himself after he retired. 

He might have been an accountant, or a mechanic.  It doesn’t matter.  Whatever it was, he did it for 32 years, collected his gold watch, and went home. 

Then, and this is key, he designated himself a waver.  He must have dreamed of it for a while before he put his plan into action.

You see, he lived on a busy stretch of road in Berkeley where Highway 13 dumps onto city streets.  So every morning and evening, during rush hour, he stood on the sidewalk in front of his home and waved at the commuters.  He smiled and waved.

A simple thing.  A small thing, but a big thing.  His modest gesture said things those folks might have needed to hear:  I see you.  You seem alright to me.  You’re worthy of my attention.  Good luck out there.

And they waved back at him, the commuters.  Many of them did.  They broke from the trance of their routines and made eye contact and waved.

For 25 years he stood there. 



And consciously or not, those travelers looked forward to seeing him.  Maybe in the beginning, when they first saw him there in his dungarees and plaid shirt, they had a question in their minds about him, but it was a good question.  Something like, “I wonder why he does this?”  “What does he get from waving to everyone?” or  “What does he get from waving at me?” 

I’m pretty sure that if at first they dismissed him as odd, or eccentric, those assessments gave way to an appreciation for the comfort of seeing him each morning.  Full of goodwill.  Asking for nothing.  Like your grandpa when he showed up for your swim meets.  Someone who was glad to see you for no other reason than there you were, and you were you. 

Now that my husband is retired, we watch the morning news together.  When the traffic report comes on and a map of the city’s commute arteries fills the screen showing tangled intersections and ribbons of red where sig alerts throb, my husband delights in his carefree circumstances, cup o’ joe in one hand and the Chronicle in the other.  He toasts the screen with glee and says, “You poor bastards!”

The Waver wasn’t thinking that.  He didn’t stand there for 25 years to rub it in ~ you’re going to work, and I’m not!

No, he wasn’t like that.  I’m sure of this because when he decided to retire from waving, throngs of commuters slowed down to wave one last time, or honk, or to tell the reporter how they’d loved him from behind the wheel.  They knew he was a good guy.  They would miss him.  He made a difference.

I want to make a difference and that man in Berkeley showed me how.  The job matches my skill set nicely.  

And now, as it turns out, in these times that feel kind of dark, these days of sheltering-in-place, of masks and gloves and ‘keep your distance, buddy,’ a greeter might make a difference.  I think I’ll give it a try.

Maybe I’ll see you on the pedestrian path in front of our house.  Lots of folks are taking advantage of the sunlight, walking by. 

I’ll give you a wave and a smile.  You seem OK to me.




Monday, April 13, 2020


Being Elderly in the Time of the Corona Virus



I just created an MP3 recording!

And I’m ELDERLY!

I figured it out all by myself, too!  Wow!  ELDERLY folks are amazing!

Not sure about you, but I have a strong aversion to being called ‘elderly.’  I’m not even too keen on the designation of “senior citizen.”  I prefer to be called Oh Great One, or She Who Must Be Obeyed.  So far, no takers.   

Certainly no takers among the media in these times of implied – and real – frailty and vulnerability.  I have to face the fact that, based on my age, I’m part of the cadre of those most susceptible to our invisible enemy, COVID-19.

OK, fine.  They’ve got me on that one.  But I refuse to succumb to the stereotypes assigned to me because I happen to be between 65 and 102!  And being technologically able is one way I can poke my finger in the eye of the stereotyper!  Ha!

Now is a perfect time to shake off that badge, almost a brand:  Old person = Technologically inept.  

We don’t need no stinking badges!

So, if you’ve been in the mode of handing your devices over to your children and chuckling with them that you’re of the wrong generation to ‘get it,’ STOP DOING THAT!

Now, more than ever, we OLD FOLKS must find ways to overcome isolation.  It’s just no good to sit at home and watch CNN and sigh heavy sighs that we can’t see our grandkids when we want to.  There are multiple ways we can see them, and OUR FRIENDS, even now, without putting ourselves, or anyone else, at risk.

It begins with using the technology at our fingertips.  We must step up and face our fears.  If you have been one to say, “It scares me!” or “I’m afraid I’ll crash it!” or “It’s just too much for me!” STOP DOING THAT, TOO!

You underrate yourself.

The best way to boost your self-esteem – and talk face-to-face with the people you love – is to try Zoom, or Skype, or GoogleHangouts.  Watch out now!  No excuses!  No shrinking from the challenge.  You can do this!  

I have been privileged to meet every Tuesday morning for breakfast with some of the smartest, most erudite - and oldest! - women in my town.  (My husband calls it the Power Breakfast!)  When the virus hit and threatened to keep us from seeing each other, we swung into action.  Almost within moments, we had each downloaded Zoom, clicked the appropriate links, started a video conference and ate breakfast together – alone.

That’s right.  We were each at home alone (or with a spouse sequestered elsewhere in the house), yet were able to talk and laugh, commiserate and speculate, share and care, FACE-TO-FACE, just like every other Tuesday morning for the past umpteen years.
‘Way better than email.  ‘Way better than texts.  ‘Way better than a phone call.  

And we’re ELDERLY!

Highly recommended.

“But," you say, "I don’t even know how to get started!”

1. If you’ve never ventured into the App Store, now is the time to try it.  

2. Search for 'video conference' apps.  Many are free to download and free to use (it tells you right there on the screen).  

3. Click the blue button that says, “Get,” and you’ll get it on your phone or tablet.  Just like that!  It’s magic, really.

Then simply find the icon on the opening screen of your device and launch the app – another click.  And follow directions.  Pretty sure you’ve read and followed directions a few times in the past.

Soon you’ll be in the same room – sorta - with someone you care about, chatting away like you’re part of the 21st Century.

And making that MP3 recording? A person I hope to work with requested that I send her a sample of my proposed project in that format.  I was a little anxious, but I undertook the same three steps:  Go to the App Store and search for a free MP3 recording app.  Click the button to download the app.  Open the app and follow directions.

Try it!  It’s not too much for you.  Nothing really crashes anymore.  Your brain cells will expand.  Your posture will improve.  You can hold your head high. 
It’s SO worth it! 

And you don’t even need a mask and gloves!