Friday, August 2, 2013

Resolved: Be Ready on Time

Oh this is perfect. 


Just in time for my annual mid-year review, the document containing my New Year’s Resolutions for 2013 has been corrupted!  It’s unreadable and unrecoverable.

I’m not sure how to take that development given my cosmic, everything-happens-for-a-reason approach to life. 

Is this some sort of etheric message?  Maybe the Universe is telling me I’ve accomplished so much already that it’s time for me to step back and let the other guy have a chance!

Uh – no.  Pretty sure that’s not it. 

No.  This corrupt file among all the other intact files is more likely a thump on the head admonishing me to get busy.  Like those vanished vows more than half the year has dissolved in this vacation world called retirement, and I’m unsure now if I’ve done anything I said I’d do.

I hate that!  I am a woman of my word.  My word is my bond.  And my bond is … unreadable and unrecoverable. 

So if I promised you something, would you please let me know?  I really do like to keep my promises.

But I have no idea what I resolved to do…maybe it was to improve my memory!?

Therefore, given the status of this well-intentioned road to purgatory, I declare myself free to resolve anew. 

Now.  Today.  I can set my sights as high as I want and begin sailing with confidence toward the approaching horizon of 2014.

Hooray.

Ok.  Let’s see. 

An-n-n-nd …. I got nuttin’.

There it is.  I have such a great life already, what could I yearn for? 

Or … Maybe this is this when a person shoots for the stratosphere.

Well, I am working on that book.  Maybe I should resolve to finish it.  That would be pretty cool.

Oh!  Wait a minute.  I remember!  I did resolve to finish the first draft this year!  Wow! 

OK.  Better get on that. 

Actually, just this week, I started my first read-through of the extremely rough tentative embryonic amorphous not-ready-for-prime-time draft of said book.  And OMG.  That is the most mortifying and humbling experience!  What I believed was at least sensible is barely intelligible. 

Thank God it’s only August.

Let’s see …What else would I have resolved to do?  Have another party? 

Our 2012 Elvis party would be hard to top, but I’m game.  We’ve already had an Academy Awards night party and people wore their sparkly clothes!  

So that was fun.  But it was not the same as a night with the King. 

And I don’t think it was on my lost list of things to do.

Still, maybe there’s enough time left in 2013 to have that BYOJ party I’ve been imagining – “Bring Your Own Joke!”  Everyone’s a stand-up at heart, right?  We’ll provide the microphone and spotlight; you bring your favorite story. 

We’ll all wear Groucho Marx mustaches and eyebrows and chew bubble gum cigars, provided by the hosts, of course.  “Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars!”  Well, a hundred Monopoly dollars.  OK.  I’ll work on it.

You know what the secret to comedy is, don’t you?

But that falls short.  Personal growth and self-improvement require more than gala soirées!

I’m at loose ends.  I’m adrift.  I’m floundering!

Without the resolutions I made and forgot and now lost, I just don’t know how to finish out the year in a meaningful way.

One wants more, doesn’t one?

One wants edification.  Progress.  Evolution.

Honestly, though, I doubt if I resolved anything that would lead to enlightenment and fulfillment-of-self in relation to the Eternal.

I likely said I’d be a nicer person and walk three times a week.  Ho hum.

Having crossed the point of no return, I probably should set myself on a task or two that will further my development.  On the way to the Maker and all.  Good faith efforts. 

Not that I’m checking out any time soon, you understand, but I should pace myself.  You know, chunk up the work so as not to feel overwhelmed.  That’s the real point of the annual resolutions. 

Plug along.  Chip away at it.  Make the milestones.


Because in the divine scheme of things, one should at least be getting ready.  You know – It’s the timing.